Sitting in Dublin airport drinking tequila 5 minutes before takeoff isn’t exactly the best way to start off a biking holiday, or is it??

I’ve been on a few biking holidays in the past but this one was by far the most entertaining and where the biking was concerned, the toughest! We arrived in Geneva after one of the most interesting Aer Lingus flights ever, lots of drinking, jokes and requests to the stewardesses to join the mile high club. (Dave with his zip ties and duck tape) We were, putting it mildly, in a boisterous mood when collecting our bikes in the airport and our transfer driver ‘Pierce’was delighted to have us as his passengers. Pfft! After an important stop ”for beer” we arrived in Morzine.

Accomodation:
Our accommodation for the week was in the newly opened ‘Riders Refuge’ right at the bottom of the Pleney ski lift and most importantly right across the road from the Buddha Bar. For a newly opened setup, it had all there was to offer a group of bikers. Nice rooms, great location, locked shed for the bikes, absolutely brilliant home cooking and great value for everything we got.
A special note of thanks to Jillian and Jonny who ran riders refuge. Even though it is their first year running biking accommodation, they did a bang up job. Best hosts any of us have had and would definitely recommend that anyone planning a trip to Morzine to give them a shout.

Just to note that they have openings for the rest of August if you are thinking of a surprise trip and you can get them at: www.ridersrefuge.co.uk or email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Pat Railing Le Pleney

Tracks:

Our first day of biking was spent on Pleney getting rid of the usual cobwebs in both the bikes and the riders and also getting used to the terrain in the Alps. The Pleney slope tracks were running fairly smooth without any huge braking bumps. Nice steep and fast! There was also an abundance of something called ‘dust’. Wasn’t sure what it was as we don’t get too much of it riding in Ireland.

Looking down from the Swiss Cup Track

Day two was by far the biggest day of the trip. We got ourselves a guide for the day and headed for the super Morzine lift. Getting a guide was definitely worth every penny as we were taken on trails we probably would have never found. Our first big track of the day was a run on the Swiss cup track. I can safely say I wet myself on the first run. Extremely steep high banked turns and high speed straights were everywhere. The terrain was completely hard packed and bone dry so the dust was choking. Slowing down was a waste of time as you weren’t able to drop much speed even if you wanted to. There was a strong smell of burning pads after we completed our 3^rd run of the track. Our next big spot was the Chatel bike park where we unfortunately managed only 2 runs before we had to leg it to escape an incoming lightening storm. Chatel bike park from the lift had everything to offer, from huge jump parks (with balloon landings) to tight steep single-track and northshore. In the end we didn’t do too much of the main trails but we hit a load of steep technical tracks that we would never have found ourselves so it was a great days biking. After 9 hours on the bikes we arrived back for our first big night out on the town.

Day three found us in Les Gets with some serious hangovers and promises never to drink again. We hit the main Les Gets trail a few times before moving to the other side of the valley and the extremely steep trails they had to offer. Honestly I’m a complete blank as I had a serious hangover so I’ll switch to writing a romantic novel instead – it all started with Rob Davis meeting a French girl names Carole in the nightclub the night before “ohhhhh”. He arranged to meet her in the pub tonight (day three) but unfortunately forgot her name and what she looked like. Unluckily the one girl that jogged his memory turned out to be her mate and she was not impressed that he asked her “did I arrange to meet you here last night?” Fortunately for rob Carole was a forgiving soul and suffice to say he didn’t come riding…sorry…biking on day four.

Dave showing us the right line on the French Cup Track

Day four and we headed back towards Switzerland again and stopped for a few runs of the French cup track in Montriond. This was the favored track of the whole trip for a few of us. An open rocky switchback section led into a fast forest track with a huge amount of rocks on the course. There were different lines for nearly every corner on the track and some nice tricky jumps and drops scattered about down the course. Total concentration was necessary for this course as there were surprises everywhere. This was a great course and well worth a visit next time. We again had to do a runner from some poor weather and headed for Pleney to finish off the day.

Day five was our day off with a visit to the main track in Les Gets. Easy by comparison to some of the stuff we did earlier in the week but great fun nonetheless. We also managed the have a go at the Canyon track in Les Gets. Definitely one to see. Loads of roots and steep rocky gullies made it an imposing track with a few interesting northshore bridges to make up the gaps in the trail. The day in Les Gets was a nice break before the final day of riding.

Rob on the Swiss Cup Track

Day six and the last day out found us in Montriond again for a good few runs down the French cup track. It was even better the second time around. Check out you tube for a few videos but nothing I’ve seen shows how steep any of the stuff was over there. We did one quick run of the Swiss Cup track but at this stage of the week the bodies were finding it hard going. We finally finished off the riding with a few runs of Pleney until my body finally gave out and could take no more. I would try to fill you in on the final night out but there are a few gaping holes in my memory.

Tech Tips:

Bring loads of spares and if Rob Davis is with you, a dam good spoke key. ;-)
Bring spare tyres/tubes and 2 spare sets of brake pads as you are sure to use up both and they can be expensive in Morzine.
Screw it just bring a spare bike!

Punctures were the flavor of the week.

Moments of Interest:
Ed throwing his grubby bike rag (old pair of undies) into the faces of everyone in the Buddha bar every night we were there. (There the only pair of Boxers ever to get barred from a pub)
Jill our Riders Refuge host wearing them on her head while playing foosball.
Dave’s shorts falling down a few times while carrying beer back to the chalet – no belt.

The last picture of the lucky underpants before they mysteriously disappeared

Crashes:
Thankfully everyone made it home in one piece as there were a few crashes had.

· Ed ripping it up on the Swiss course only to end up sliding head first down one of the steeper corners. Very cool.

· Myself burning a path down a rut only to end up 15ft fee from the track and down the side of the mountain. The guys were certainly entertained. Sniffle

· Ed with a spectacular jump in Les Gets. I swear he was almost vertical and I though he made it until I saw the cloud of dust. Nice chunk of flesh missing from his elbow after that one.

· But! The best crash of them all. Dave cycling into a beer garden only to fall over, tried to save himself by grabbing the back of a bench only for it to fall over and him ending up lying across it upside down much to the amusement of about 20 people sitting outside having a pint. Nothing a few mutzig didn’t sort out. Snigger.(Sorry Dave)

Quotes
Dave to the air hostess: “Do you do bondage?” (Waving his cable ties at her)
Response: “You’ll need something stronger than that………….”
Ed Smyth: “Here you!!! What did you do to my Mate?????”

Special Mentions:
Well done to Adam for making it on the trip even after cracking some ribs at the nationals.
Special thanks to Dave Egan for completely organizing the trip. We’d never have gotten there otherwise.

The Troops

Riders:
Dave ‘The Champ’ Egan
Adam ‘Ribs’ Tynan
Richard ”Dell Boy” Thornhill
Rob “Where’s My Bike?” Davis
Ed “The Underpants Man” Smyth
and Myself Pat “Over the Handlebars” Loughnane

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